Outlook Can Make a Difference! Tuesday, Aug 11 2009

I’ve written posts before about the importance of doing things that make you happy and taking time to relax, but I feel like it’s such an important part of living a happy life that it merits more than just one or two posts.  By unveiling the happiest “you” possible, others will be happier and will love the care-free person you are able to become.

I am a worrier and a planner.  I always find myself trying to come up with new long-term financial goals and thinking about when and how I will be able to make my dreams come true.  I’m probably the only 24-year-old who is stressed about saving enough for retirement; I check my 401k balance a couple times a week and brainstorm ways to pay off our mortgage as fast as possible.  Weird, yes…but this can be a good thing if I play the game the smart way.  This type of thinking can be burdensome now but can cause me a lot of relief later (if I am able to retire without a mortgage payment).  While I’m aware of the importance of retirement and of saving and setting high goals for myself, I should make these things less of a “worry” in my mind and more of a “goal.”  Ultimately, my outlook is what will make a difference.

From now on– in my mind– when I think about planning for the future financially, I am going to be inspired by the money we can save if we pay the mortgage off early as opposed to stressed by the timeline or the manner in which I will have to get things “together” to make it all happen.  After all, it’s healthy to have goals but sometimes as life goes on you realize your goals have to be modified a little bit. There’s no harm in changing things later; I shouldn’t be disappointed in myself if these things become impossible.

If anything, I should be proud that I am able to have what I have now and enjoy it. I should take time to really appreciate the fact that I am able to have a house, able to save here and there for retirement, and be thankful that I care enough about my own future to sacrifice now for myself later. Who knows, I may be one of those people that spent decades thinking they will retire at a certain age and will end up bored at home and back at work a month later (*cough* Mom! *cough*). All I can do now is relax, take time for myself, avoid being careless, save a little bit of coin, and spend my days trying to realize my true potential. Everything else will fall into place.

…Because not EVERYTHING in life can be planned. Sometimes you just have to let go and let life happen the way it should…

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The Importance of Gratitude Tuesday, Mar 10 2009

I think that in order to be happy with your life and with yourself, you need to realize the significance of being grateful and appreciating what you have. 

I am grateful to be living in America near amazing Washington D.C. I am also grateful that the cherry blossoms will be blooming next month and plan to go enjoy them!

According to research done by top American psychologist Bob Emmons, grateful individuals lead happier, more successful lives.  This makes complete sense to me.  I have always realized the importance of gratitude, but hearing about the research Bob did really hit home for me. 

I’ve noticed that women tend to bond through complaining to eachother.  Men do it too– everyone does it, but I think women are really guilty of this.  I hear people whining to each other all the time about things that really are not the end of the world (sometimes they complain about things that they really should be grateful for). 

Example : “Oh my gosh I am so tired.  I don’t know how I’m going to make it through a whole day of work today.  This morning I had to get the kids ready for school and pack their lunches and little Billy has baseball practice tonight and my husband has to work late and I have no idea what I am going to make for dinner.  I guess I’ll pick something up on the drive home.”

Why this person should be grateful: At least her and her husband have jobs right now.  Also, she has a car that works and can get her anywhere she needs to go.  She has a healthy family and a son who is involved in sports which makes him less likely to get in trouble and more likely to maintain good grades in school.  Plus, she has money for food and has the ability to chose whatever she’d like for dinner tonight– Chinese, Italian– whatever!  This is something to look forward to, not dread.

I do it too– I complain.  I talk about how much I have to get done and ramble on and on about what I need to remember and how it’s impossible to fit everything in.  It’s impossible to avoid complaining 100% of the time because it happens without me even realizing it.  Guess what I’m going to work on from now on?   I am going to try to complain less and see some of the positive aspects of situations that I normally would see as a completely negative, hopeless situation.  I’m on my way to being a more grateful person and I’m excited to know that with practice, positive thinking can quickly become second-nature. 

I like to think that I’m already a pretty positive person, but it never hurts to get better at anything.

How to do become a more grateful person:

• Stop comparing yourself to others;
• Stop comparing what you have to what others have;
• Reflect at least once a day.  What are you grateful for?  What positive things can you draw from your situation in life right now?;
• See the good things.  If you are trying to save money and can’t afford to go out as much as you used to, think about the fact that you’ve still got your house and have the ability to get creative and appreciate what matters most– family;
• Enjoy nature.  The weather is finally starting to get really nice.  Go outside, walk as much as you can, and explore your town on foot instead of by car;
• Make time for yourself;
• Let things go.  This is a hard one but it’s really important.  If something bothers you, walk away, breathe and give yourself time to calm down.  Forgive whoever annoyed you and then forget about it.  Life is too short to waste time mad about something as stupid as the neighbor stealing your Sunday paper.  Don’t let anything ruin your day and steal your joy.

…Because being grateful brings great attidue.  Great attidue brings great things…

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Declaring Technology Bankruptcy Thursday, Mar 5 2009

This has nothing to do with my post. It is hlarious though...

While I am a big fan of technology and email, sometimes I have realized I just need a break from it all.  I always feel obligated to check work and personal email and find myself a tad stressed out when I let too much time go by without “checking in” on my emails.  This is something I have declared I will work on!

Thinking back on the vacation that husby and I took last March, I was a little freaked out before we left knowing that the entire time I would be without email or my cell phone (a laptop and a phone won’t do you much good on a cruise in the middle of the ocean).  After getting over the habitual reach for my phone at certain times of the day, I started to embrace not having to worry about making calls or checking email.  I started to feel sort of… free!

In an effort to regain a fraction of this feeling of technological free-ness, I’m laying down some ground rules for myself to see how things go. 

Here they are:

• No checking work email after 7:00 pm.
• No checking work or personal email at any dining or entertainment facilities (yes, I am that person who checks email at the table in a restaurant) or family gatherings.
• No checking of work email on Sundays AT ALL.  Sunday is going to be my email free day.  I may relax in front of the computer to read my favorite blogs on Sunday morning, but after that I am refusing to check email or stress over anything.  Sundays will be my total relaxation days.
• No phone calls or email checking in the morning while I’m getting ready for work.  I’ve noticed that this causes unnecessary stress so if my phone rings I’m not going to answer it (unless I get the feeling that it’s an emergency and see that someone is calling me that never calls me in the morning.  If the phone rings and it’s from my mom, I’m NOT getting it in the morning because she calls me way too often for no apparent reason in the morning.  Sorry Mom).  I’m not checking email either because I’ve noticed it sets a negative tone for me because I start to think about what I need to do for the day and how I am going to schedule and structure my day.  My morning time at home is mine and I will wait until I get to work to start worrying about how I will get my work stuff done.

We will see how my new rules pan out.  I’m not expecting myself to follow them perfectly (although I will try), but I want to establish boundaries for myself because, like I’ve said before, balance is the key to everything.  I would love to be able to balance everything in a healthy way and think that there’s no better time to start than today.  Once my rules become habits, I won’t need rules anymore– everything will be second nature.  I’m looking forward to this

…Because I’m addicted to email and I need help…

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Balance is the Key to Life. Thursday, Feb 26 2009

This little blue-footed guy is the master of balance!

The older I get (and the more I think about what’s important), I realize that balance is the key to true happiness. 

Balance in timing (spending enough time with family while still making time for friends, work, and having alone time), balance in spending (allowing yourself to buy little things that make your life a little bit more fun without going overboard), balance in risk-taking (maybe you decide to follow your heart and take a big risk; you should always have a backup plan and know when to throw in the towel), and balance in eating and health (if you have a piggy moment one day you should try to eat less the next day and always make time for a little bit of activity). 

Balance is easier said than done and is something that takes practice and awareness of self.  Sometimes I suddenly observe that a habit I have is not an example of a balanced action, so I do my best to change things because I’m always trying to better myself and re-balance my life. 

For example, I started noticing that I was getting in the habit of going home, eating dinner, and watching TV every single night (did anyone see Biggest Loser last night, by the way??).  I thought about my routine and realized that I needed to mix it up a bit.  I still go home and relax, but I try to spend less time in front of the TV and more time on the elliptical, walking outside, or taking care of things that would otherwise pile up and become overwhelming if I waited too long (laundry, errands, cleaning, etc…).   Anything that has the potential to overwhelm later should be tackled little by little!

Here’s a quote that I interpreted in a way which reminds me of the importance of balance (in this case, balance of outlook):

“An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while a pessimist sees only the red stoplight…The truly wise person is color-blind.”

—Albert Schweitzer

I’m still working on this and I know that it’s impossible to have balance all the time.  I think that putting forth the effort to be a better person and live a life that I am excited about adds up to equal a more well-rounded and happier person in the end. 

 

…Because a you may need to eat a salad for dinner to balance out that huge hunk of chocolate cake you ate in the afternoon…

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People Motivate Me Tuesday, Feb 3 2009

A big part of enjoying life, for me, is learning from other people.  Whether it’s learning from their mistakes, their advice, or their experiences, nothing motivates me more than people who refuse to give up. 

Everyone loves this part of the movie...

On that note, I have always been a fan of Patrick Swayze.  I know there are tons of people out there who say they are fans of him and obsess over his every movie and memorize every little fact about him– his favorite food, favorite band, and favorite color.  I’m not that kind of a fan.  I have respect for him as an actor and as a person.  I’m not sure of exactly how many movies he has been in or where he was born, but I do smile when I see him and appreciate his work.  I am a fan of the type of person he is. 

Because I have always loved him, I was sure to record his Barbara Walters interview (it aired last month).  I have been extra worried about him since I heard he was battling pancreatic cancer. 

It was really sad to watch Patrick and his wife Lisa talk about the horrible things the cancer has put them through as well as the things the process has taught them about life– as individuals and as a wonderful couple.

The willingness he had to talk openly, to share his feelings of nervousness and uncertainty about the future, as well as his plans to fight the disease amazes me.  When he found out about his diagnosis and learned that many people with the same type of cancer he has die within 6 months, his response was, “Watch me!  You watch what I pull off.”  I don’t know that I could ever have the ability to respond to something so jarring the way he responded.  I would probably be tempted to go home, cry, and start giving up.  His story taught me about the importance of hope, strength, and selflessness.

I like this picture because he looks so healthy!

Other things he said throughout the interview that really stuck with me:

• “I keep dreaming of a future, a future with a long and healthy life…not lived in the shadow of cancer, but in the light.”
• “I have no greater respect for any other human being on this earth like I have for her [his wife of many years]. Part of me says I couldn’t have made it through without her, but, of course, the other part of me says I could have, but not nearly as elegantly as I have.”
• “I don’t know what’s on the other side,” he said. “It tests everything I believe in … that here is something unique in all of us that does not, does not die.”
• “What winning is to me is not giving up, is no matter what’s thrown at me, I can take it,” Swayze said. “And I can keep going.”

After the interview was over, I was surprised at how great of a human being I learned he was; not just a great actor.  His positive outlook was truly inspiring.

While I hope I never have to go through anything as frightening as what Patrick Swayze is going through, I hope that I will remember his strength and his passion when I am in need of a little inspiration.  Plus, a headache and an upcoming trip to the dentist seem like ridiculous things to complain about when you see how bad it could be.

…Because the glass is ALWAYS half full…

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An Article I Love… Friday, Nov 14 2008

 I was reading Oprah’s November 2008 edition of O Magazine and saw an article that I thought was wonderful.  Every month she ends her magazine with a “What I Know For Sure” section and I always make sure I read it carefully because she typically has very insightful advice and comments that are worth listening to. 

The November issue is a compilation of her all-time top 20 answers to the question, “what do you know for sure?”  Usually my posts aren’t this long but I don’t want to leave any out since they are all so great…

Oprah’s Top 20 Answers: “What Do You Know For Sure?”

 

1. What you put out comes back all the time, no matter what.

2. You define your own life.  Don’t let other people write your script.

3. Whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present.  Only you give it power.

4. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.

5. Worrying is wasted time.  Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.

6. What you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for.  You become what you believe.

7. If the only prayer you ever say is thank you, that will be enough.

8. The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.

9. Failure is a signpost to turn you in another direction.

10. If you make a choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world will not fall apart.

11. Trust your instincts.  Intuition doesn’t lie.

12. Love yourself and then learn to extend that love to others in every encounter.

13. Let passion drive your profession.

14. Find a way to get paid for doing what you love.  Then every paycheck will be a bonus.

15. Love doesn’t hurt.  It feels really good.

16. Every day brings a chance to start over.

17. Being a mother is the hardest job on earth.  Women everywhere must declare it so.

18. Doubt means don’t.  Don’t move.  Don’t answer.  Don’t rush forward.

19. When you don’t know what to do, get still.  The answer will come.

20. “Trouble don’t last always” — sort of like one of my old favorites: ”this, too, shall pass”

…Because successful people give good advice…

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Sometimes It’s Good to Forget. Thursday, Sep 11 2008

The little things in life add up make your lifetime special and unique. 

I try not to sweat the small stuff!!

I know everyone has heard the age-old saying, “don’t sweat the small stuff.”  I think it’s so important to overlook unimportant small things throughout your day that could lead to unnecessary drama.  A small comment made by a friend can lead to an argument because of the way he or she said it or how you think they meant what they said.  Everyone is guilty of overreacting or assuming prematurely…but really, none of that matters.  Forgetting about small unnecessary things allows you to wade through life’s clutter so you can really enjoy your days.

Things that I used to waste hours worrying about I no longer even think about.  I push negative thoughts about what could happen or what people mighthave thought and focus on the present.  After all, you can’t control others so you might as well control your own mind and remember the things that make you fortunate instead.  Life’s little dramatic elements are no longer important enough to cause me to question my every move or regret saying what was on my mind when I needed to voice my concerns about something.  Letting go and forgetting the little unimportant things allows you to look at the world with a breath of carefree fresh air. 

…Because “the ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.” 

~Hans Hoffman

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Health Equals Happiness! Wednesday, Sep 10 2008

Look at all that fruit! I'd eat it!

I found a really cool blog that reminded me that the human body is amazing and fascinating.  It is crazy to think that water makes up 85% of our brains yet we are able to formulate thoughts, communicate with each other, and live our crazy lives every single day.  I have always been interested in topics related to health and wellness, but was thinking today about how appreciative I really should be.  Although I’m a bit of a hypochondriac (at one point I thought I had a brain tumor and still think sometimes that my lymph nodes are swollen and I may die), it’s such a wonderful thing to be healthy. 

We should always be thankful for what we have and never take our health for granted.  If there’s a little something you can do to improve your health you might as well go ahead and do it– you’ll be glad later.  I have decided that one thing I am going to work on is cutting back on my sugar intake and focus on exercising more.

Walk where you can, eat things that are horrible for you rarely, smile often, and stay positive.  This is a formula I’m happy with following.

…Because health and weath go hand-in-hand.

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Listen to the Inner Voice! Thursday, Aug 28 2008

The more time I spend around people (and the older I get), I realize more and more that it’s so important to stick to my intuition.  Sometimes I get a gut feeling that something isn’t right or I have an idea or plan that other people may not understand.  I need to ALWAYS trust my feeling. I’m not saying to ignore everyone else, but, weigh their opinions carefully. 

Only you can understand you and learning to trust your instinct will guide you at all times.  There have been so many past instances in which I have tried to ignore that dreaded “gut feeling” and have learned now to embrace the feeling and listen to it.  This way you end up with no regrets.

One example that inspired this post happened just this morning: In the process of remodeling our kitchen, we have ended up with a lot of random items that we have decided to sell on Craigslist, if possible.  I created a post for an old cast-iron sink that we no longer need and waited to see if anyone was interested.  I was happy to see an email from someone in Maryland this morning telling me that he would love to come pick it up and asked me to call him to set up a time.  I called him and left a message, giving him my cell phone number in the process so he could call me back.  He immediately called back and I got a strange feeling in the first 10 seconds of our conversation. 

The man started to ask me questions and told me that it would be hard for him to pick up the sink at night since he lives in Baltimore.  When I asked him what time would typically work for him he didn’t give me a straight answer.  He asked me where I worked and I told him “Arlington” and he suggested I bring the sink to work and he could come pick it up during the day and meet me at my car.  When I told him that his plan essentially made no sense because I live about a mile and a half from where I work, he started to ramble on.  I also told him that it was too heavy for me to lift into the car and bring to work (this thing is probably 90lbs) and he suggested I get someone to put it in the car for me. 

Then, he asked me for my address.

At this point I said “my husband can call you and give it to you if you set up a time to meet him, but I can’t do it.” and ended up getting off the phone really quickly.  Afterwards I was really glad I didn’t just give him information unnecessarily.  Sure, he can probably do a reverse look up on my cell phone and he could find some things out about me… but he certainly isn’t ending up with my home address.  What a weirdo.  This could have amounted to nothing OR it could have ended up being dangerous. 

You never know– so listen when you are trying to tell yourself something!!

…Because you listen to yourself talk all day anyway.  You might as well listen to your inner thoughts.

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Sleeping Well Means Living Well. Friday, Aug 22 2008

This little guy has the right idea...

I am a huge fan of sleep.  If I could sleep in every day I would; however, I would probably be quite lazy and would end up getting nothing done all day.   One of the things I look forward to most on the weekends is having the opportunity to rest well (as well as relax, but sleep is a part of relaxation). 

I thought it would be a good idea to post some of the “Tips to Get Better Sleep” I found on WebMD since sleep is one of the things you need to enjoy life and prosper!

1. Cut caffeine. Simply put, caffeine can keep you awake. It can stay in your body longer than you might think – the effects of caffeine can take as long as eight hours to wear off. So if you drink a cup of coffee in the afternoon and are still tossing at night, caffeine might be the reason. Cutting out caffeine at least four to six hours before bedtime can help you fall asleep easier.
2. Avoid alcohol as a sleep aid. Alcohol may initially help you fall asleep, but it also causes disturbances in sleep resulting in less restful sleep. An alcohol drink before bedtime may make it more likely that you will wake up during the night.
3. Relax before bedtime.Stress not only makes you miserable, it wreaks havoc on your sleep. Develop some kind of pre-sleep ritual to break the connection between all the day’s stress and bedtime. These rituals can be as short as 10 minutes or as long as an hour.

Some people find relief in making a list of all the stressors of the day, along with a plan to deal with them this can act as “closure” to the day. Combining this with a period of relaxation perhaps by reading something light, meditating, aromatherapy, light stretching, or taking a hot bath can also help you get better sleep. And don’t look at the clock! That “tick-tock” will just tick you off.

1. Exercise at the right time for you. Regular exercise can help you get a good night’s sleep. The timing and intensity of exercise seems to play a key role in its effects on sleep. If you are the type of person who gets energized or becomes more alert after exercise, it may be best not to exercise in the evening. Regular exercise in the morning even can help relieve insomnia, according to a study.
2. Keep your bedroom quiet, dark, and comfortable. For many people, even the slightest noise or light can disturb sleep like the purring of a cat or the light from your laptop or TV. Use earplugs, window blinds or curtains, and an electric blanket or air conditioner everything possible to create an ideal sleep environment. And don’t use the overhead light if you need to get up at night; use a small night-light instead. Ideal room temperatures for sleeping are between 68 and 72 degrees Fahrenheit. Temperatures above 75 or below about 54 can disrupt sleep.
3. Eat right, sleep tight.Try not to go to bed hungry, but avoid heavy meals before bedtime. An over-full belly can keep you up. Some foods can help, though. Milk contains tryptophan, which is a sleep-promoting substance. Other foods that may help promote sleep include tuna, halibut, pumpkin, artichokes, avocados, almonds, eggs, bok choy, peaches, walnuts, apricots, oats, asparagus, potatoes, buckwheat, and bananas.

Also, try not to drink fluids after 8 p.m. This can keep you from having to get up to use the bathroom during the night.

1. Restrict nicotine. Having a smoke before bed — although it feels relaxing actually puts a stimulant into your bloodstream. The effects of nicotine are similar to those of caffeine. Nicotine can keep you up and awaken you at night. It should be avoided particularly near bedtime and if you wake up in the middle of the night.
2. Avoid napping. Napping can only make matters worse if you usually have problems falling asleep. If you do nap, keep it short. A brief 15-20-minute snooze about eight hours after you get up in the morning can actually be rejuvenating.
3. Keep pets off the bed. Does your pet sleep with you? This, too, may cause you to awaken during the night, either from allergies or pet movements. Fido and Fluffy might be better off on the floor than on your sheets.
4. Avoid watching TV, eating, and discussing emotional issues in bed. The bed should be used for sleep and sex only. If not, you can end up associating the bed with distracting activities that could make it difficult for you to fall asleep.

…Because you spend 1/3 of your life sleeping.  You might as well do it right.

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